Brendan Clarey, Opinion contributor
Published 5:00 a.m. ET Sept. 8, 2018

Getting married as a 22-year-old set me apart from most millennials, but my own experience made me ask: Why does my generation wait so long to wed?

Millennials like to take their lives into their own hands. They prove it by posting their travels on Instagram (#WanderLust). They wholeheartedly pursue their jobs and hobbies. Those in my generation strive to pour themselves into something that defines them.

Except we seem unable to commit to the same level in our relationships: Only a quarter of my generation is married, while 86 percent of single people near millennial age say they want to be at some point.

Not everyone — some people don’t want to get hitched and that’s fine, but many say they do and aren’t doing anything. When millennials do get married, they end up walking down the aisle at a median age of 28.

Our generation has basically flipped the norms of years gone by: In 1965, 78 percent of people ages 21-36 were married at the typical age of 22.

This means that, with my marriage just over a month ago at 22, I accomplished my relationship goals six years before my generation’s average. It also means acquaintances often congratulate me on my wedding just before asking, “How old are you?” This question prompted me to wonder why so many millennials are forgoing domestic bliss for years and years.

Dating is hard, but it gets easier with practice

I asked Jennifer Murff, Ph.D., the president of Millennials for Marriage and an adjunct professor at Regent University, about these trends, and she said it partly boils down to fear. It seems that my generation is too risk-averse to start and commit to the relationships so many say they want.

Murff said millennials don’t know how to date anymore, and I think she’s right. I admit, it wasn’t easy for me to ask my crush (and future wife) on an actual date junior year of college. There was so much riding on it — namely my pride — and she could say no to another date if we ever got past the first one. What if she wasn’t into me?

But dating gets easier the more you do it. We enjoyed ourselves throughout our courtship by going on car rides, watching movies, and grabbing dinner. What started as dating turned into a relationship, and now we’re married.

The concept is simple: Have fun, get to know the other person, then take it to the next level. If it doesn’t work out, nothing’s lost and experience is gained. 

More:For Valentine’s Day, my wife gave me a marriage performance review

You love cooking shows, millennials, so how about learning to, you know, cook?

Why Ruth Bader Ginsburg is right that Millennials are key to #MeToo

If my generation has a hard time meeting people and starting relationships, it’s no wonder that they have a hard time plighting their troth. I met some of my friend’s housemates this summer, and after mentioning my weekend plans were to wed, one young woman among them joked that I should chat up her boyfriend. She said they had been dating for four years, and it seemed like she thought their status wasn’t about to change anytime soon.

Murff said it’s common for the 24 percent of millennials whose parents are separated or divorced to have a skewed or damaged view of marriage, because of what they’ve seen. They’re afraid their marriage will end in the familiar shambles they grew up with.

This is reinforced by a common perception that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. But that dismal statistic is inaccurate. The New York Times reported in 2014 that 89 percent of college-educated couples who married in the early 2000s were still married seven years later. A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study found that college-educated women have a 78 percent chance of a marriage lasting 20 years while their male counterparts have a 65 percent chance.

Your mentality matters. Millennials like to challenge the culture, so challenge the divorce rate. Approach marriage without accounting for the possibility of divorce. Statistics don’t determine whether marriages succeed or fail — you do.

Marriages work if you make them work

Why not test a romantic relationship before jumping into the long-haul commitment? Psychologists have found cohabiting is more harmful than helpful for long-term relationship success: It increases anxiety and aggression, and lowers relationship confidence. The CDC study cited above also says that those who cohabit before marriage are more likely to divorce in the long run.

Statistically speaking, it makes more sense to exchange vows and rings if you’re already dating someone than to keep on testing the relationship for years.

Besides fear of divorce, Murff said millennials are afraid they might not choose the right person. My advice as a married man of several weeks? Nobody is perfect (sorry, sweetheart). Waiting for a relationship that requires no effort means waiting forever. Real love takes real work.

A marriage starts with commitment, and it doesn’t end until you die. Maybe that scares young people enough to date longer than a presidential term with just as little to show for it. Maybe that explains why someone I had never met would half-jokingly ask me to draw her boyfriend a map to the nearest jeweler. Maybe he should follow the map and finally buy an engagement ring. And maybe the 86 percent of my generation who are still waiting around should, too.

Brendan Clarey is a Collegiate Network fellow for USA TODAY’s Opinion section. Follow him on Twitter: @BrendanClarey

 

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Gareth Southgate’s latest England squad may have a familiar feel to it, but a group of players will be looking to change that picture.

Saturday’s Uefa Nations League game against Spain and Tuesday’s friendly with Switzerland are opportunities for five players to remind Southgate – and England fans – that they should be central to the future of the Three Lions.

So who can make an impact and benefit the most from an impressive few days with the national side?

Luke Shaw (Manchester United) – seven caps

England’s left flank was always likely to open up after the World Cup as manager Gareth Southgate looked away from 33-year-old Ashley Young and forward into the future.

Tottenham’s Danny Rose did not make a compelling case to be the automatic replacement so the revival of one of England’s one-time great hopes has been timely for Gareth Southgate.

During a difficult start to the season for Manchester United, Luke Shaw has been one of their standout performers. He has looked the player who, while at Southampton, was given his England debut as an 18-year-old against Denmark in March 2014, before going to the World Cup in Brazil.

This was followed by a £30m move to Manchester United but his career stalled when he broke a leg in a Champions League defeat at PSV Eindhoven – and then by an uneasy relationship with club manager Jose Mourinho.

Shaw’s defensive performances often appeared to irritate Mourinho but such has been his return to form this season that he has been an automatic choice. He was the first player the manager went to after August’s 3-0 home defeat by Tottenham – with Mourinho offering him a warm embrace and words of praise.

He returns to this England squad with confidence and fitness renewed, back to his best and with a vacancy available if he gets the chance to impress.

This is a big few days for Shaw, who last played for England in the 1-0 defeat by Germany in Dortmund in March 2017.

Jack Butland (Stoke City) – eight caps

Jack Butland had hopes of being England’s number one at the World Cup in Russia. Southgate decided to go with Everton’s Jordan Pickford, who had an outstanding tournament.

It will have been a serious disappointment for Butland but he earned respect with his support for Pickford and willingness to accept a secondary role.

And to add to his frustration, the 25-year-old is now playing in the Championship after Stoke City’s relegation, and Chelsea and Liverpool went abroad for their new first-choice keepers.

There was even a question about whether Butland’s demotion to Championship duty may count against him for Southgate’s first post-World Cup selection.

The keeper, however, is regarded highly by Southgate in terms of character and ability.

It has been a tough start for Butland and Stoke in the second tier as they lie 18th after three defeats in their first six games.

Butland, out of that Championship bubble, will be desperate to shine this week – not just to reinforce a message to Southgate but perhaps also remind potential suitors of his Premier League quality.

Joe Gomez (Liverpool) – three caps

Joe Gomez could have been at the World Cup but for an ankle injury suffered in England’s March friendly against the Netherlands – now he is back and manager Southgate will be delighted.

The 21-year-old looked every inch an international footballer on his England debut against Germany at Wembley in November 2017.

Having regained fitness, and with dejan Lovren injured, Gomez has been slotted in alongside Virgil van Dijk at the heart of Liverpool’s defence, and he has been outstanding in their 100% start to the season.

Gomez is the identikit modern defender. Athletic, powerful, composed, hard-edged and with real pace.

He also has another crucial asset that always endears players to Southgate – he is adaptable. He can play at right-back and certainly on the right side of a three-man defence, an experiment that enjoyed a measure of success with Kyle Walker in Russia.

Marcus Rashford (Manchester United) – 25 caps

Marcus Rashford needs something to kick-start his season. He made only one start at the World Cup, in the final group game against Belgium, and has been marginalised at Manchester United.

Rashford has not started a United game since being substituted on the Premier League’s opening weekend against Leicester.

Perhaps some of that early-season frustration bubbled over when he was sent off for thrusting his head into Phil Bardsley’s face in the win at Burnley last Sunday.

Rashford, however, remains a rare talent at his best and at 20 this is a career still in its infancy. He has won 25 England caps but only nine as a starter.

He is a player Southgate will surely count on in the qualifying campaign for Euro 2020 and he can make himself the beneficiary of Raheem Sterling’s absence from this squad through injury.

And Southgate may also be the beneficiary of Rashford’s release from his current Manchester United struggles.

Ruben Loftus-Cheek (Chelsea) – eight caps

Ruben Loftus-Cheek, at just 22, is reaching a crucial face of his career both with England and Chelsea.

Loftus-Cheek, who started his international career with a man-of-the-match performance against Germany in November 2017, impressed in cameo performances at the World Cup, and will be looking to push on this season.

Southgate’s search for a significant creative influence in midfield goes on and this tall, powerful and elegant youngster has shown in spells for England – and during a successful loan stint at Crystal Palace last season – that he has the gifts to grow into this role.

The problem is, however, lack of game time.

Loftus-Cheek would have been a target for many clubs had they been given encouragement that he might leave Stamford Bridge in the summer. Instead he stayed, and so far the decision has not borne fruit.

While new Chelsea manager Maurizio Sarri spoke highly of his qualities, he believes Loftus-Cheek needs to improve tactically and Ross Barkley, a forgotten man for England for more than two years, even got the nod ahead of him for Chelsea’s early games.

He has played just 33 minutes this season – and that is not enough. He will want to use these England games as a showcase.

Rockets have struck the headquarters of two Iranian Kurdish opposition parties in Iraq’s semi-autonomous Kurdish region, killing and injuring several people, according to officials and local media.

The missile attack hit the headquarters of the Kurdistan Democratic Party of Iran (KDPI) and the Democratic Party of Iranian Kurdistan (PDKI) in the northern town of Koya on Saturday, according to the TV channel Kurdistan 24. 

“Eleven KDPI members were killed and 30 wounded by Katyusha rockets fired on their headquarters,” Kamran Abbas, director of the city’s hospital, told AFP news agency. 

The PDKI, in a Twitter post, blamed Iran for the attack and said an adjacent refugee camp was also hit. 

Photos posted by the PDKI on social media show injured children and massive plumes of smoke in the sky. 

Al Jazeera could not verify the report independently.

In a coordinated attack, the terrorist regime of Iran targeted PDKI’s bases and adjacent refugee camps in Koya, Iraqi Kurdistan. According to initial reports, 35 have been wounded, and 5 others have died.#Pdki #Kurdistan #rojhelat #twitterkurds pic.twitter.com/URqpX5bnwK

— PDKI (@PDKIenglish) September 8, 2018

The two groups seek Kurdish autonomy in Iran and operate in exile in neighbouring Iraq.

Kurdistan 24 said the attack occurred as party leaders sat for a meeting, and at least two senior officials were injured in the shelling. 

Saturday’s attack was the largest on the party’s headquarters since 1996, the channel said.

Koya, also known as Koysinjaq, is about 60km east of the autonomous Kurdish region’s capital Erbil.

Citing local officials, Rudaw, a Kurdish television channel, said the Koya region “has been under bombardment for days”. 

Also on Saturday, Iran executed three alleged Kurdish separatists, according to Iran’s Fars news agency.

One of them, Ramin Hossein Panahi, had planned to bomb a rally in Iran’s Kurdish province last June, Fars said.

Zaniar Moradi and Loghman Moradi were executed for being members of an unnamed “terrorist separatist group” and of killing people, the report added.

Meanwhile, Iran’s Revolutionary Guard said on Friday they had killed six members of a Kurdish armed group involved in a July attack on an Iranian border post. 

SOURCE: Al Jazeera and news agencies

Earth’s Northern Hemisphere experienced a scorching summer, with 90-degree temperatures in Arctic reindeer country and heat waves toppling records around the globe. 

In Canada’s Kluane National Park, the massive Lowell Glacier felt the heat this summer, too. 

Both NASA and European Space Agency satellites captured bounties of snow from the previous winter melting from the glacier over just four days in July. 

In the photos of the glacier NASA released Thursday, areas of frozen water are shown in light blue, whereas melted water is shown in dark blue. 

The snow thawed under unusually high temperatures that hit 84 degrees Fahrenheit — 17 degrees higher than even the average daily high temperature for this region.

The water from the melted snow then collected in a 25-square-mile slushy lake, known as a “snow swamp,” on the glacier. Just two weeks later, this pool of water then evaporated completely.

Glacier scientist Mauri Pelto said via email that in the three decades since 1987, the Lowell Glacier has receded by about 3 kilometers, or nearly 2 miles. 

Pelto, the director of the North Cascades Glacier Climate Project at Nichols College, also told NASA that, “I haven’t seen a snow swamp of this size develop this quickly ever.”

Melting snow cover is particularly bad for glaciers, Pelto explained, as the light snowy surface reflects sunlight back into space. But without the snow, the darker ice absorbs more heat, which exacerbates melting, and ultimately, a more rapid glacier retreat. 

Lowell is a “surging glacier,” meaning it can move backward or forward relatively quickly. Yet, Lowell’s long-term retreat has now occurred over two cycles of this surging “and will likely not be recovered,” said Pelto. 

Eventually, the glacier will recede past the rocky island marked “T” above, which currently buttresses the glacier, and “there will be a larger retreat,” said Pelto.

Beginning in the 1970s, NASA started watching glaciers recede worldwide as human-caused climate change accelerated the melting. 

The recent events in Lowell, and glaciers around the world, are one of the most visible symptoms of a warming world, easily noticed by both the public and scientists alike. 

The once aptly-named Glacier National Park in Montana, for example, had around 150 documented glaciers in 1850. 

That number plummeted to 26 glaciers larger than 25-acres in size by 2015, according to the U.S. Geological Survey. And about 500,000 visitors come to see Alaska’s Mendenhall Glacier each year, which lost a dramatic 1,800 feet between 2007 and 2015.

Markedly more accessible than Lowell Glacier, some of the trails around Mendenhall were designed to lead visitors to glorious overlooks of the icy blue behemoth. But today, these overlooks lead to a pool of melted ice, or rocky terrain. 

Earth’s ice sheets are vanishing everywhere, from the Arctic, to the Antarctic.

In the months since a gunman ended 17 lives at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, students from Parkland, Florida have pushed for the passage of a state gun control law, organized a massive march in the nation’s capital, and embarked on a nationwide bus tour. 

On Friday, they notched one more milestone: Testifying at a Supreme Court confirmation hearing.

Aalayah Eastmond, a Marjory Stoneman Douglas senior, was one of several witnesses who spoke before the Senate Judiciary Committee on the fourth day of confirmation hearings for Brett Kavanaugh, who in 2011 dissented in a District of Columbia Court of Appeals case that upheld the city’s gun registration law and ban on automatic weapons. 

Speaking calmly, Eastmond described her experience during the shooting at her school. Hiding under the body of her classmate who’d already been shot. Calling her mom to say her final goodbyes. Police officers later picking body matter from her hair. 

“I began talking to God. I told God that I knew I was going to die, I asked to please make it fast,” she said. “I didn’t want to feel anything. I asked for the bullet to go through my head so I wouldn’t endure any pain. I laid there for about 30 seconds still protected by his lifeless body, waiting for the shooter to move onto the next class.”

She ended her story with a plea: for the senators to think of gun violence victims as they weighed Kavanaugh’s nomination. 

“As you make your final decision, think about it as if you had to justify and defend your choice to those who we lost to gun violence,” she said. 

Eastmond is one of several Marjory Stoneman Douglas students who has translated her trauma and grief into activism, ushering in a new era of anti-gun violence advocacy led by young people. 

Young activists have largely succeeded in cementing their stories and perspective in the national conversation, said Sonia Rosen, a visiting research scholar at Villanova University who studies youth activism, because they’ve built a wider movement rather than simply focusing on changing laws, raising awareness through actions like Eastmond’s.

That’s a task that can be difficult for anyone, but can be especially challenging for young people.

“Young people are really only seen as consumers, or they’re seen as objects of our reform,” Rosen said.  “And for young people to reject that and say, ‘No, we actually have something to say, we have a very complex analysis to offer and we have strategy and tactics that go beyond what adults have been able to do,’ – is incredible.”

As November’s midterm elections draw closer, that strategy has become increasingly political: Young anti-gun violence activists frequently discuss the need to vote as well as protest. 

“Right now we’re in a historic moment,” she said. “Not only are they having a voice at the table, but they’re actually controlling the discourse on gun violence.”

After all the witnesses had spoken, senators in turn asked questions. Sen. Richard Blumenthal of Connecticut – the state where 26 people died in a 2012 shooting at Sandy Hook elementary school – asked Eastmond how she’d respond to Kavanaugh’s opposition to an assault weapons ban.

“My life, along, with the life of all the other youth, is more important than that gun,” she said.

Then, Blumenthal asked Eastmond to describe the real-world impact of an assault weapon.

“That gun ended 17 lives on February 4, that gun ended lives at Sandy Hook, that gun ended lives all over the country,” she said. “He needs to listen to us, because our lives are just as important as any American’s freedom to own a gun.”

 

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The global mobile gaming market could grow from $56 billion in revenue in 2017 to $106.4 billion in 2021, according to a recent report by Newzoo and Arm. That would represent 59% of the entire video game market by 2021, compared to 46% last year.

With 577.9 million mobile gamers, China is the largest mobile gaming market in the world. However, the growth of China’s gaming market could be throttled by tighter regulations over game approvals and play time limits for minors.

The top company to watch in mobile games is Tencent (NASDAQOTH:TCEHY), the world’s biggest video game publisher. Six of China’s top 10 grossing iOS games are published by Tencent, according to App Annie.

Tencent holds a 40% stake in Epic Games, which publishes Fortnite, and a majority stake in Supercell, the maker of Clash of Clans. App Annie ranks mobile Fortnite and Clash of Clans as the two highest-grossing iOS games in the U.S.

Newzoo also expects more demanding mobile games to boost sales of high-end smartphones. As of June, the market researcher reports, there were 1 billion “high-end active smartphones globally,” an increase of 76% year over year.

Leo Sun owns shares of Tencent Holdings. The Motley Fool owns shares of and recommends Tencent Holdings. The Motley Fool has a disclosure policy.

Scotland will be “embarrassed” by the ease with which they were ripped apart by Belgium at Hampden, says former defender Willie Miller.

The Scots were thrashed 4-0 in front of 20,196 fans on Friday, their fifth defeat in their past six friendlies.

Two Belgium goals came from Scotland being caught in possession, while a misplaced pass led to another.

“You are coming off that pitch quite embarrassed by the manner of the goals,” Miller told BBC Scotland.

“If you’re playing Belgium away from home and get beaten 4-0 to the second best team in the world, you can live with that.

“But at home you are expecting more from Scotland. Although there were positives, you’re not expecting to see them losing goals in that manner.”

McLeish’s side now have two days to prepare for their Nations League opener against Albania, who have three points after defeating Israel on Friday.

Miller believes his former team-mate will have a job on his hands lifting the spirits of his players.

“Alex has to work really hard on the confidence of these players now,” he said.

“He’s got to decide who his defence is going to be, if he is going to change the keeper, if he is going to change his back five, if he going to keep a five.

“There are a certain amount of positives but there is a whole heap of negatives to work on.”

Miller says Scotland must be “brave” when they return to Hampden, adding: “If they give away opportunities like that to Albania it could be a really nervous night.

“If Scotland are not playing at their best and they don’t get in the lead it is really difficult out there.

“They are capable of it but after watching how easily they shipped the goals against Belgium it must be a concern for the manager.”

An Egyptian court has sentenced 75 people to death, including senior leaders of the Muslim Brotherhood, over a 2013 sit-in protest in Cairo that ended with the killing of hundreds of protesters.

Senior Brotherhood leaders Essam el-Erian and Mohamed Beltagi were sentenced to death, while Mohamed Badie, the Brotherhood’s spiritual leader, was handed a life sentence.

Prominent photojournalist Mahmoud Abu Zeid, also known as Shawkan, was handed a five-year sentence but should walk free for time served. He was arrested in August 2013 while covering the killings in Cairo.

Lawyers for Shawkan said he would be out in a “few days”.

Those sentenced on Saturday are accused of security-related offences, including incitement to violence and organising illegal protests.

On August 14, 2013, police dispersed a mass sit-in protest in Cairo’s Rabaa al-Adawiya Square. The security forces killed more than 800 people in a matter of hours, in what Human Rights Watch (HRW) concluded “likely amounted to crimes against humanity”.

Government forces moved in with armoured vehicles, bulldozers, and hundreds of security forces moving in the early hours.

According to HRW, about 85,000 protesters joined the sit-in, which extended for over 45 days and grew larger and more organised with time.

The protest was staged by supporters of Mohamed Morsi, Egypt’s first elected president and Muslim Brotherhood leader, who was overthrown by the military a few weeks earlier.

Thousands were arrested on the day of the massacre and in the months following.

SOURCE: Al Jazeera and news agencies

England v India – fifth Test, day two, The Oval – Live – BBC Sport

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Ankara will not stand by and watch the loss of civilian lives in Syria, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan has warned, after a trilateral summit with the leaders of Iran and Russia.

In a series of tweets on Friday following the meeting in Tehran, Erdogan said disregarding civilian lives would “play into the hands of terrorists.”

“If the world turns a blind eye to the killing of tens of thousands of innocent people to further the regime’s interests, we will neither watch from the sidelines nor participate in such a game,” Erdogan said.

Turkey, he reiterated, was committed to the voluntary and safe repatriation of refugees and a lasting solution to the Syrian conflict.

Iran’s President Hassan Rouhani hosted his Russian and Turkish counterparts – Vladimir Putin and  Erdogan  – on Friday amid growing concern over a looming humanitarian catastrophe in Idlib.

The province hosts more than three million people, half of whom are internally displaced.

The summit ended without agreement as Turkey pushed for a ceasefire that was rejected by Russia and Iran, raising fears of an imminent offensive in Idlib by the Syrian government.

Russia and Iran back Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, while Turkey supports some of the rebels, who seek Assad’s removal.

If the world turns a blind eye to the killing of tens of thousands of innocent people to further the regime’s interests, we will neither watch from the sidelines nor participate in such a game.

— Recep Tayyip Erdoğan (@RT_Erdogan) September 7, 2018 

Joint statement

However, in a joint statement, Iran, Russia and Turkey said that the Syria crisis could only reach a final resolution through a “negotiated political process”, not military means.

The statement also called for the creation of conditions safe enough to allow the return of those displaced by the seven-year conflict can.

The talks in Tehran were held as Russian and Syrian fighter jets continued bombing various areas of southern Idlib province, which killed several people, according to activists. 

Idlib is the last major city still under Syrian rebel control.

Buoyed by Russian and Iranian support, forces loyal to Assad have clawed back swathes of territory from the opposition. But those gains have come with accusations of chemical weapons use and the targeting of civilians.

SOURCE: Al Jazeera and news agencies